The Kindness of Conviction: Grace is not fair—and I'll be forever grateful.

White coffee cup with a heart latte art

It was a rainy, gloomy November day; the kind of day that makes your warm, cozy bed seem like heaven on earth. But it hadn’t started so badly. It had also been one of those rare days when I succeeded in waking up before the kids to read God's Word. I had been reflecting on the goodness of Christ to keep his covenant with such an unworthy, undeserving people. He has given us salvation and the joy of his presence without us needing to earn it or prove our worthiness. The simple fact is that we are unworthy and would be forever unless something drastically changed. That change came through God's provision of Jesus Christ.

After dropping my son off at preschool, I decided to treat myself to a fancy coffee. Because the coffee shop had made a mistake on my order, my coffee took a little longer than predicted. My car idled as I sat in the drive-thru, frantically checking my rear view mirror in fear that I was to blame for a backup of angry customers. The barista was all apologies, and I chatted with him congenially, graciously accepting the situation with no added anger or drama. My coffee was finally prepared and handed to me free of charge.

As I peeled out of the drive-thru, a glimmer of pride flashed through my heart. I had been kind, patient, and compassionate to the restaurant by not creating a scene. "Maybe God decided I deserved a free coffee today because I handled it so well", I thought to myself. Before the thought even finished forming, the spirit washed a wave of conviction over me. Deserved? I received an unexpected gift and assumed I had earned it? In my mind's eye, I could almost see God shaking his head and saying, "My child, you should know by now that that is not how I operate."

Yet this is what our sinful hearts do. We attempt to take credit for the things we have, looking to justify our superiority or entitlement, with small things like a free cup of coffee, and with big things, like our salvation.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Grace is not earned. It’s not a reward for our good behaviour. It is a gift despite our behaviour. It is completely unjustified and unfair.

And it is offered freely to you and me.

What we deserve is eternal separation from God. A Holy God cannot have our blemished, sinful selves in his presence. Yet He loves us, and wants us with him.

Sins are the desires, thoughts, words, and actions that go against God's way. If we're honest, we'd admit that we can't go five minutes without committing a sin. If perfection is necessary to be with God, how can we ever succeed?

The moment our first parents turned from God's way in that utopian garden long ago, He had a plan to bring us back again. It would cost bloodshed because that's how serious our problem of sin is—the terms that humanity would understand. What consequence is more severe than death? But in God's infinite grace, He provided our way out. Jesus, God incarnate, came to earth to live a perfect life, and yet die a criminal's death.

From Jesus' death, we are granted eternal life. In his death, Jesus bore the weight of our sin and transferred to us his perfectness, or righteousness. He settled our debt before the Holy Father.

It was terribly, ferociously, catastrophically unfair.

The resurrection raised the stakes. Jesus did not stay dead, but rose back to life again, in a miracle that would show once and for all that he was no mere human, but God himself. Jesus was not a victim of the people—he was a willing sacrifice. He allowed them to mock him, beat him, and nail him to a cross in a public execution. Then, at the moment he chose, he gave up his life (Matthew 27:50).

All of this because of his love for us.

The consequence of sin has been paid in full. Now all that is left is for us to receive His grace—to admit, believe and confess:

"because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

The transfer does not happen unless we participate with our belief. To reject this offer of grace is to reject God, His forgiveness, and our soul's eternal future with Him in Heaven.

The alternative is a very final death.

God's grace is not fair—and I'll be forever grateful.

Within the next breath, I gave a prayer of confession and repentance for my self-righteousness. On the surface, the free coffee was nothing but an apology—but when you walk with God, you learn to look deeper than the surface. Even a coffee can be a catalyst for repentance. And it is through repentance that the veil of our pride falls away, providing a clearer view of the Savior's glory, and the miracle of our salvation story.

That's a sight that will cheer up any gloomy day.